Katie and Mista Go Camping

(Original post date - March 11, 2016)

(“Mista” is how I like to call my friends, Krista and Mike, unbeknownst to them)

In preparation for an upcoming camping/hiking trip out West, I donned my new hiking boots and backpack stuffed with sleeping bag, sleeping pad, headlamp, etc. It wasn’t as heavy as I expected it to be, possibly because it fit less than I expected as well. Shoot. I’m gonna have to figure out how to compress everything better.

My ankle wasn’t in the best of shape, in part because I recently stomped around too much in heels. And probably also because I have weak ankles. But overall my boots served me well on this trip, provided good support and protected me from the elements.

For food we picked up some beef jerky, trail mix, apples, cheese, Clif Bars, pretzel croissants (whatever they are), instant mashed potatoes, and 2 packs of ramen.

The trip began with a brisk walk from 72nd and Columbus to 82nd and Amsterdam where my car was parked in a great spot (with the help of Krista and a kind art gallery owner the previous evening). From there, Krista and I drove to Harlem to collect Mike, and his bag of pita chip “crumbs” which were supposed to be combined with Krista’s bag of pita chip “crumbs” that we accidentally left in her apartment and were too lazy to go back and get.

But we blazed on! Through Harlem and past the “best BBQ north of 110th St,” crossed over the George Washington Bridge, and through the fresh air of the Palisades Parkway, all the way to our destination: an equestrian center?

Apparently the Pine Meadow Lake trailhead starts at the back of an equestrian center. And yes, we were told by a lady brushing a horse, we could park by the barn overnight. So we loaded up our gear and set off behind the riding area, past a barking dog and a bearded man in a truck, and into the woods.

Our first obstacle was a stream crossing. Mike went first (like a boss), then Krista and I each used a giant stick to help us balance while we navigated our way across some unstable rocks. Little did we know this would be the first of many stream crossings. Some easy, some not so much. We each had our favorite. Krista called hers “The Grotto” (whatever that means). On the way back we counted them. It was 12 and 4 halves. Was it the same stream and we were just zig zagging over it multiple times? We even came across a frozen section that was beautiful and would provide us with much joy on our return trip. More on that later.

We knew we were going in the right direction when according to 1 of 3 paper maps, we would cross under some power lines and see a cairn to the left. Cairns are new to me, and for the length of this trip I get excited every time I see one. If you don’t know what it is, it’s a pile of rocks to serve as a landmark.

Up we went, and up and up and up. Camping and hiking in the winter is tricky because you want to be warm when you’re still, but as soon as you start moving and sweating, you just want to be naked. We made several stops to take off articles of clothing. First went my coat, then my hat, and then…well and that was it really, but it felt major at the time.

We eventually reached a point where I thought the mountain would never end. Krista is currently training for a marathon and has been running many miles everyday, and Mike is an outdoors beast, so they got this. Me on the other hand, I trailed behind, panting and praying while my newly purchased Fitbit said that my heart rate was 147. Is that good? Is that flirting with death? I don’t know. Suddenly Mike stopped because he “saw an animal.” I was sure it was a bear, but it turned out to be a squirrel.

Finally, the uphill battle ended, and we were moving along on what felt like level ground, but later learned was really downhill. This was a breeze compared to what we just did. I even began leading the way at times, feeling like a badass, learning how to follow a trail (no, Alex, it’s not as simple as you think it is). Watching for “blazes” on trees and rocks to guide your path is fun, but sometimes confusing if the trail isn’t well maintained or marked.

After 4 miles on the red trail, we made it to the lake where we planned to set up camp. It was  beautiful, but also starting to feel a lot colder since we had stopped hiking. In the clearing we noticed two holes in the ground which Krista and I agreed is where a snake lives, so we found two big rocks to cover them up. Krista and I struggled to set up our tent, and Mike stepped in to teach us a thing or two. He also daringly removed the snake deterring rocks due to limited tent space, and set up his own. We made it there before sunset, but only just, and it started rapidly getting darker.

We realized we did not prepare well enough and did not have enough gas to properly cook our mashed potatoes and ramen. Mike tried, in vain, to start a fire. Krista and I were no help. We gave up and just tried to cook one packet of ramen with the remaining fuel we had left. There wasn’t enough but at that point, we were ravenous and would have eaten anything. So we hungrily passed around the mostly cooked ramen. Willing to eat the second pack uncooked if need be, we dumped it into the lukewarm water, including the second packet of seasoning (a sound idea at the time). Although it was not fully softened, we devoured it anyway, despite the extreme salt content caused by two packets of seasoning in one serving of water. Maybe the tepid water we had left was greatly reduced and as salty as can be, but we poured some mashed potato flakes into it. Then we dumped the beef jerky crumbs in for good measure, and consumed the saltiest, sorta cold potatoes I’ve ever had in my life.

With the sun all the way gone and no fire to warm ourselves, it was time to get in our tents. Mike in his one man thing, and Krista and I in ours. After getting all bundled in, we looked at our watches and realized it was only 7:00pm. What is there to do but go to sleep (Mike) or talk about life and love and peeing in the wilderness (Me and Krista)? Speaking of which, I had no desire to get my boots back on and get out of my sleeping bag, but i figured it would be smart to make a tinkle before falling asleep, rather than wake up in the night and have to do it alone. So Krista and I strapped on our headlamps and ventured into the night air to do a little squatting. We burned up all our toilet paper (along with 2 of 3 paper maps…foreshadowing) in the fire-making attempt so it was a drip dry situation. I squatted like this many a time in Cambodia, so it wasn’t too shocking.

I realized I hadn’t had any water during our entire strenuous, 4-mile hike, or during the devouring of half the salt in the tri-state area. Krista’s totally full Nalgene water bottle was within reaching distance and it was beyond delicious and refreshing. New York City tap water, I love you.

Goodnight, Krista. Goodnight, Mike. Goodnight, snake who possibly lives under Mike’s tent.

I tossed and turned all night long because even though my sleeping bag and sleeping pad are well made, it’s still not a cozy bed. My feet were freezing in 3 pairs of socks, and at some point in the night, the rest of me was on fire. I took my jacket off and used it as a pillow.

In the morning, I chomped on an apple in lieu of brushing my teeth. It felt great. Who needs a toothbrush? I’m just kidding.

We packed up and made our journey back to the barn, this time along a different route, which was 3 different intersecting trails. This is where the one remaining map we didn’t burn came in very handy. It was ripped and crumpled but we might still be in those woods if it weren’t for that map and Mike’s compass. Because it’s one thing to know which trail you are switching to, and another to know which direction to follow it. (Tip: Don’t burn all your maps.) I hoped this route would be easier because we would be going mostly downhill. Not true. At one point we were at what appeared to be the summit (I don’t know what I’m talking about) and stopped to appreciate the grand view and catch our (my) breath. We also made time for picture taking. I have to learn how to use my fancy new camera if I want to dazzle my friends and family with grand photos of the Grand Canyon in a few weeks.

When we finally came to that frozen “lake” from the day before we stopped to play like little kids, picking up large chunks of ice and throwing them at other parts of the ice. We probably would have stayed longer and played, but Mike’s bladder started leaking. No, not that bladder. His platypus water bag in his backpack. After we emptied that out, we kept moving toward our final destination, laughing and joking along the way.

When we saw those power lines and then reached that first stream crossing, we knew we were almost there. Soon we passed by the same barking dog and bearded man in a truck (did he ever leave that spot in 24 hours?) and found my car safely parked by the barn. Mission complete!

And a perfect way to end an adventure like this is to immediately wash your hands in the equestrian center’s office, then drive to Queens and eat at Duzan Mediterranean Grill. And also drink so much Coke like the life force that it is.

I still have a lot to learn about camping (i.e. pooping in the woods), but I think I’m on my way to becoming a girl gone wild(erness).