Amazingly, I’ve been able to scrounge up some time in my busy schedule for shenanigans. After the 48 hour (excuse me…2880 minute) film competition was over, Lindsey and I took Saturday to have fun. We went to the Nike store with Keaton to get new kicks.

We wandered around and shopped in some neato stores. One called Pigeonhole which I wouldn’t mind visiting regularly. But then I wouldn’t have any money left. A kangaroo yelled in my face inside a souvenir store. It was a stuffed animal with a sign that read “If you talk to me I talk back.” I wasn’t sure about it, so I got real close and said “Hi!” A second later, it yelled “Hi!” right back at me. It’s too bad my reaction was not caught on film.

Lindsey has a hobby (habit) of taking hundreds of pictures of me while I eat. That’s not even an exaggeration. One burst of photos she took was 600+ and I’m filled with envy at her phone’s ability to store all those. It all started when I ate my first Golden Gaytime.

Then one day we decided to be a family and ordered a Family McValue Box from McDonald’s (which everyone over here calls Macca’s). Split between us we got a Big Mac, a McChicken, two cheeseburgers, family size fries, and 4 small sodas. North Americans in Australia!

When shopping was complete, we ate at a Mexican restaurant, and Lindsey continued her hobby. Upon reviewing the photos, the jury is in. I am definitely turning into my mother.

I was so stuffed, but we went wild and got an ice cream sandwich from Mister Fitz’s. I took this opportunity to try to get her back with the photos.

I could barely eat any but Lindsey badgered me on the street until I caved in and ate a normal human sized bite of the cookie. I blame her for what happened next. Two weirdos approached us (one on a bike, one on foot) and awkwardly said hi and told us we were lovely. Wrong. We are not lovely. We are getting out of here. But something completely unexpected happened. Lindsey became paralyzed and left it to me to get us away from them. Holding a bunch of napkins in my hand, I offered some to the weirdest weirdo. My own weirdness did not turn them away, so I pressed on and told them we had homework and that I needed to throw up. But instead of doing either of those things, we rode the Wheel of Brisbane, checking over our shoulders to make sure they didn’t follow us.

Instead of paying attention to the view, which was underwhelming, we made a live Instagram video attracting only 1 viewer. Understandable. I hate it when people “go live.”

After the ride was over, we happened upon some millennials in their natural habitat, taking photos with strings of light wrapped around them.

The next day we had to do some re-shoots for Sophie’s film. Thankfully no one passed out this time.

After my scenes were finished, I suggested taking some photos in the yard to pass the time.

On the Monday of our last week of lectures, we were unexpectedly given the day off. Lindsey and I took off in search of a relaxing day at the beach. Relaxation is not what we found, but another adventure. We took several trains and buses for over 6 hours, roundtrip.

Our travels landed us on the shores of Surfer’s Paradise, and Burleigh Heads. Some students on our campus recently returned from a beach trip looking like lobsters, so as soon as we arrived at Surfer’s Paradise, we found and used a bathroom to disrobe and apply Australian strength sunscreen. Then we stuffed our faces with burgers, fries, and ice cream, looked at the beach and decided to take public transportation once again to Burleigh Heads in hopes that there would be less tourists. There was some mild confusion about which bus or train to take, and a woman yelled at Lindsey for being in her way. Settle down, lady.

In Burleigh Heads, we met a dead jellyfish on the squeaky sand, which we poked with a stick.

Then we sat on a grassy knoll and ate fruit scraps that we stole from the leftover morning tea on campus. There was a National Park nearby (the name on the sign read Jingeri Jingeri Jellurgalah, not sure what that was about), and we opted to explore the 1.2 km Oceanview track. Along the way, we saw some beautiful ocean views, several turkeys in their natural habitat, and a lizard who tried to attack me. And when I say attack, I mean that he made noise as he scurried out of a bush. We stopped for Lindsey to climb onto some rocks to take photos, and I took that opportunity to pee on the ground. I was afraid of getting caught, but luckily no one saw.

After we safely made it through the “falling rock” zone, we found a little beach area and decided to go swimming. The water was quite cold, so thankfully Lindsey just pushed me right in when I was too slow for her liking. She also took some hideous videos of me, squashing my dreams of being a water sports model.

Who let that monster out of its cage? Truthfully, I spent most of the time worrying about shark attacks. I didn’t bring a towel with me, so I walked barefoot in my togs (I think that’s what Aussies call a bathing suit) along the trail and tried to air dry on the way back. Back at the grassy knoll (across from a playground) we stripped out of our wet clothes, and hung them on a tree to dry.

After several minutes when my hands wouldn’t even dry due to the moisture from the sea, we gave up and found a place to eat. In the alleyway behind the building, we found some cool graffiti and pushed a dumpster out of the way to take some more photos. Dumpster is a weird word, isn’t it?

Some recent wildlife interactions:

Finally snapped a pic of an elusive Australian turkey.

Lindsey: I touched something squishy on the door, and I looked to see what it was. It’s a dead gecko body!

Lindsey: Oooh did you see that bird? It had a green body, a blue eye, and a light blue eyebrow.

Katie: It sounds like you just made that up. Birds don’t have eyebrows.

(She was right, it's called a Blue-faced Honeyeater.)

FYI, the crows here are ginormous. They remind me of Maleficent’s minions in Sleeping Beauty. I watched one skip around on the grass the other day. Yes, it was skipping. There’s no other way to describe it. We were both going in the same direction, so we walked together, and I giggled the whole time. I think I’m gonna miss those guys when I leave.

Update: I take back my “gonna miss those guys” statement. Just hours after I wrote that, one of those jerks came outta nowhere and his purple, seed filled, doodoo came down so hard that it splatted on the table, my elbow and my hair.

Australia 2017 - Shenanigans with Lindsey

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