Australia 2017 - Action!

My muscles are so sore that it hurts to sneeze, laugh, cough, or put my hair into a ponytail. The reason: We spent two glorious afternoons learning how to do stunts. We all piled into a van and were driven to a gym. As we clamored back out of the van, for some reason I felt like we were all patients at an insane asylum who got released for a day of activities. This type of gym is one for gymnastics (something I sadly never got to do even though it was my life’s goal, along with being a gas station attendant and MacDonald’s worker – which is my own fault, but that’s a story for another time and place).

Our instructor was a handsome gentleman named Chris Bridgewater. He threw us into action with some warmups. We did things like high knees, squats, and walking like a bear. Prancing and fumbling around on the bouncy floor made me feel so old and I quickly realized how out of shape I’ve become. Then we learned some tumbling moves. After a simple somersault type, we advanced to rolling over the shoulder. Then we did backwards tumbling. Then barrel rolls (like you just got tossed out of a moving vehicle). All this is quite dizzying doing several in a row. A couple of my fellow classmates threw up. I can tell you this right now. If I threw up, that would have been the end of my stunt learning. Throwing up is not for me.

Next up, break falls. Keep in mind that most of these things we did were from beginner positions, meaning closer to the ground. Experienced stunt people do these things from much higher up. Watching Chris jump high into the air and then land on what looks like his neck is cringe worthy. Learning how to fall and land on the ground in a position that you won’t actually get hurt is the key, and then be able to “wreck out” like Chris likes to say, are where acting skills come into play. But if you’re an amateur like me, your acting doesn’t have to be acting, if you know what I mean. My grunts and moans of pain might be real.

Fight choreography was pretty cool. After learning the moves, and how to look like you’re getting punched, kneed in the head, or dragged around by your hair, we put it all together in a little scene we filmed. Each of us got the chance to do the filming and the fighting. I had so much fun with this. One of my favorite moments was when Chris used me as an example of hair pulling and choking. I’m not gonna lie, he smelled pretty great.

In addition to stunts, we learned about makeup from a spunky woman named Jen Holt. She is hilarious and full of energy. She showed us how to do makeup for headshots and auditions that looks flawless and natural, and then she showed us how to make blood and scarring wax to do special effects.

We partnered up and did each other’s makeup. I wasn’t half bad for a first timer, though my partner told me I should be careful of the faces I make while doing it because I was scaring her. Sorry Lindsey! I wear my heart on my sleeve, or my face on my face.

Half of our beautiful faces after makeup.

Then after spending an eternity making scarring wax to match our own skin tones, we gave each other wounds. Lindsey created a giant slit in my wrist.

I gave her a bullet wound to the thigh.

Everyone was quite creative in their injuries.

Stunts and Makeup only lasted for part of the week, and the rest was scheduled for Production Management. I was not looking forward to that because it sounded so blah. I opened my computer and got ready to take notes like the good student that I am, only to find out that we were tricked! Actually, we were split up into two teams, and had 48 hours to make a short film. They called it the 2880 minute film competition, which equals 48 hours, but they changed the name to throw us off. Each team had to incorporate a character named Taylor Finn: a government employee, a remote control, and this line of dialogue: “It’s time to sink or swim because the tide is rising.” We would be judged on originality, production value, and adherence to the guidelines of character, prop and dialogue. One team wins, and one team loses. The winners get some unknown reward. But probably the real reward is teamwork or some dumb thing.

Thus far, my favorite film to work on was the one we created for the 48: Who Wants to Be a Bureaucrat?

It might have been because we were all involved from the start, and it was a collaborative effort. We had so much fun working together to make this mockumentary. All was going well in the morning and we were on schedule. But en route from one location to the next, we got stuck in traffic for over an hour, and boy was it hot in our van. I had to apologize for how much butt sweat I was leaving on my seat, but thankfully I wasn’t the only one.

Halfway there, we stopped to get gas or something (I don’t know. I was too hot for my brain to function) and surprise surprise, Greg bought us all slushies! I almost called out, “Thanks, lover!” Why would I do such a thing? He is not my lover. But I did very much appreciate the cool drink.

Greg can’t count though, because we ended up with 2 extras. (He forgot that Jay went to a wedding during the day and Connor got sick. Both valid excuses. But terrible timing!) Keaton was in charge of holding onto the extras but he zoned out and one spilled all over the floor. Thankfully Johnathan acted fast and rescued my bags before they got drenched in frozen Coke.

Unfortunately, my team didn’t win the competition, but we only lost by 4 points. So at least we weren’t half bad. And the prize (in addition to teamwork) was a pizza party. It's cool. I live in New York and I can get pizza whenever the heck I want. Mic drop!